for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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