If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
