i permit you to call me
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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