OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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