I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
oh god the rape fog is back!
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
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