I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
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