Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize