she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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