Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize
