I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
