I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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