Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
