I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
