Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Randomize
