That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
