I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
