Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
