Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
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