we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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