So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Randomize
