my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Randomize
