i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
