I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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