im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Randomize
