It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
