Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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