why do cheetos always look like penises
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize
