Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
