god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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