People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Randomize
