it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
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