well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Randomize
