Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
