I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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