You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
