you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Gay?
German.
Pity.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
There's even glitter on my cock...
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