I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
