i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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