And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
this beer tastes like vomit already
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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