the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
