if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
we made out on top of his cat.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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