How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Randomize
