So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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