Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
