You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
