If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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