ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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