I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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