what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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