sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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