Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
