Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
We need to rekindle our bromance
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
