i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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